The Butterfly

The other day my dear friend Kathy, presented each attending member at our gym class with a beautiful butterfly ornament.  Mine has found a home hanging from my rear view mirror.  The gift has had me thinking the last few days.

 

I find myself wondering what struggle the caterpillar must go through in order to emerge a butterfly.  Does it have any idea what is happening to it’s body?  Does it know of it’s own beauty?  Is it scared it may not endure the transformation.  Does it ever ask, Why?  Why must I go through this?  Why can’t I stay as I am? 

 

As I think of this amazing creature, my thoughts turn inward.  What journey must I make?  What will I be when this is complete?  I awe at the thought that if the Master can take a simple caterpillar and transform him into the magical butterfly, oh praise……what must he have in store for me!! 

 

This journey is not easy.  There are days I want to give up and give in.  There are moments the fatigue begins to let in discouragement and fear.  Yet, luckily, I am prompted to attend Keaton’s gym class with him and the instructor gives out a butterfly.  I am buoyed up.  Today is a new day.  I am able to make new choices.  Begin again.  Grateful for my challenges.  Grateful for my journey.

 

I hope you also can find strength and motivation in the story of the butterfly. 

 

 

The story of the butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.

One day a small opening appeared.

He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours

as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.

Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly.

He took a pair of scissors and

snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.

The butterfly emerged easily but

it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch it,

expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge

and expand enough to support the body,

Neither happened!

In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life

crawling around.

It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness

and haste did not understand:

The restricting cocoon and the struggle

required by the butterfly to get through the opening

was a way of forcing the fluid from the body

into the wings so that it would be ready

for flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactly

what we need in our lives.

Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.

We will not be as strong as we could have been

and we would never fly.

So have a nice day and struggle a little and teach well.

Picture Motivation

I have been in a terrible slump. I can not seem to stick to any plans I make. I have no self control. It is just pathetic. I can do better. I will do better. I remember this past summer how good I felt. I am a pretty shy person in general and when I was at my highest weight I saw it causing me to seclude myself more. When I was at my lowest in the summer I felt confident, I smiled more and was a happier person. I saw a change in myself, I opened myself up more and wasn't so worried about what people thought of me. I need to get back on track. When I am eating healthy I feel so good. When I eat crappy I have no motivation and feel terrible with zero energy. I wanted to post some pictures to show some of the results I have seen in the past year. 

These two pictures are from our trip to Hawaii last February. I seriously love that place! Magical. 

In these pictures I had lost 15 pounds..

Then by the Summer I had lost a total of 39 pounds. I can really see it in my arms. And I can tell you I felt the loss all over. It was amazing. 

A great moment was when I decided to try on my wedding dress. I got down to my wedding day weight and had to give it a try and it fit like a glove!

Well there ya go. My first personal picture post. I have a ways to go but it is great motivation to see what I have done so far.

Two big holidays are coming up, Christmas and New Years. These holidays usually involve lots of food and goodies. I am making a goal to not over do it. Control my portions and stay within my allowed calories for the day. I can do this!!

Week one Progress

Studying for tomorrow's final and nursing a sick baby back to health (on top of dance, work, math night at school, family home eveing, housework) has kept me from posting. But wanted to report that on Monday I weighed in at 270.8. Down 4 lbs. Doesn't seem like much but awfully better than gaining 4.

And can some one tell me why if I gain 4 lbs I can feel it in my clothes and see it on my body but when I lose 4, I dont think my clothes feel better or see it leave my body?  Just doesn't seem right does it?????


Still diligent. Avoiding triggers. Working out each day somehow, some way. Need to work on getting necessary rest.

Friday, I have been asigned to take treats to work for the 12 days of Christmas.  Can you believe that....really, a full twelve days that I get to fight my obsessions, deal with triggers and resist such beautiful things that my coworkers will bring in.  What do you suggest?  Low calorie or Low carb....low sugar?

Enjoy the journey!!

Saturday- Ready, Set, Go

I won't be weighing myself today.  Last night we attended my sister's Christmas party at the church for kids.  They served pizza, chips, fresh veggies and a slew of cookies and candy.  I indulged in a few cookies and caramel chocolates.  I really have to learn how to handle eating in a group setting.  I get anxiety even.  More on that another time.

Today I am starting the day with yoga.  I love the way I feel centered, restored and energized after a great yoga session.  Olaya is still asleep so maybe I can actually finish the entire routine.  After that, today we have Bountiful Basket pickup, Belle will be performing at the festival of trees, I have to isolate myself at the computer lab on campus to catch up on some paper writing and then hopefully make it to the gym in the evening for a elliptical cardio workout.  After that I would like to play Just Dance 2 with the kids for our family time.  Really just want to cuddle up with a Christmas movie and snuggle my little bugs.  Maybe we will save that for tomorrow after church.

Keeping up the energy is key today.  Hope everyone gets a chance to take care of you today.

Motivation Quickie

Not much time to write tonight.  Had my grad class and I am spent.  But just wanted to put up a motivation for tomorrow.  I have been thinking about this as I wake up.  When I don't make it to the gym all I have gained is one hour of sleep and a lot of negative self talk. I know Avril and I grumble as we walk in the gym but we are crazy happy as we walk out.

Wasn't Expecting That

Day 4 at the gym....getting easier to get out of bed.  Avril doesn't have to text me orders to get up.  Excited to get up all the way until I walked out the front door.  It is going to be hard to not only leave my bed but walk out in below freezing temperatures.  Thinking this may be the year I can justify a remote car start for the Suburban.

I will write more about this tonight, but I want to share a short clip of the class Avril and I stumbled upon today.  It is Body Pump.



 

Even as I was thrilled to push my body through the exercises, something different was happening.  My emotionally body responded in ways I wasn't prepared for.  There I was in the back of the room, tears streaming down my face.  Not is a blubbering, sobbing way.  It felt more like a cleanse. 

I have to get back to work, on my lunch break, but I wanted to get this out there and hear from anyone else that may have the same thing happen.  I have some ideas about why this happened but I am new to all of this.  What do you think?

Do you ever cry through a really great physical workout?

Whats for Dinner

I love finding healthy versions of foods I love. Here is what is on the menu for dinner tonight...Buffalo Chicken Rolls

 

You can find the simple recipe here at the Can You Stay For Dinner Blog.

I will probably be using a different cheese not a big fan of blue cheese and maybe get some light ranch for dipping.  Yum, can't wait.

Update-Made these with Mexican blend cheese. Used Lite blue cheese dressing to dip but sure enough I can not stand blue cheese. So I did not use any dip after that. Ranch would be good, I just did not want the extra calories.  These turned out really good and were so easy to make. That's my kind of dinner.