Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Quick Trip

Real fast:
With perfect summer evenings, the gym doesn't have as strong of a draw as hitting places in our own backyard where we can all move together. Tonight we made a quick trip to Idaho Falls to drop of our foster dog. Tomorrow he has a reserved seat on a flight to a dog sanctuary in Colorado. While there we took advantage of enjoying the green belt followed by a milkshake stop and practicing lines for the kids play. Great summer night. We moved. We made memories. We spent an evening together. 

Monday, June 17, 2013

He Shines

Parts of being a mom do not feel so good.  When I see my children struggle, when they feel real pain, this is when my heart exists outside my body.  With every sorrow, my heart breaks.  There are not many places where my Keaton feels like he fits in.  To me, he is a shining star ALWAYS.  Yes, I struggle with some of his behaviors. What parent doesn't now and then with their children?  However, one look at this beautiful boy brings purpose and meaning to my life.
With size not in his favor, Keaton feels he starts with a few strikes against him no matter where he is or who he is with.  I want to protect him from all in the world that would do him harm.  While I celebrate him in my life, I see the looks he gets when we are at swimming pools, restaurants, parks, clothing stores or any public place.  He is my perfect boy.  I see a child that wants to be loved.  I see kindness and devotion.  I see a child transitioning into a man right before my eyes.  I love him regardless.  I just don't want him to hurt.  I want him to shine.
Recently, I took a chance and enrolled Keaton and my 9 year old daughter, Belle in a theatre camp.  Initially, my desire was to occupy these two during the day while I am at work.  Additionally, I did want to take advantage of it giving the kids an opportunity to ride their bikes the 1 mile downhill (which means 1 mile uphill) each day.  However, my main goal was to expose and introduce them to a new skill and possible talent for them to pursue.  I want them to have every opportunity to find their passion.  This two week theatre camp sounded like a win/win to me.
As a mom, imagine my delight when I was speaking with a staff member at this camp when she told me the staff will truly miss Keaton when the camp ends this weekend.  She stated that each staff member has mentioned Keaton being a stand out kid.  She commented on his enthusiasm, desire to learn, kindness, creativity, aptitude and all around pleasant nature.  (Mama don't cry to the lady on the phone.....don't cry, don't cry, don't cry).
Eventually I felt the conversation safe enough to share my biggest concern.  There are not many places where Keaton feels accepted. He always often feels like the outcast.  The one kid that just doesn't fit in.  I told her I have seen a light in him grow that I have longed to see.  He comes home each day jubilant to share the details of his day.  He admits to it being hard.  He admits the music makes his voice tired.  He admits he doesn't like riding his bike home afterwards.  And yet, he states all this with a smile and energy. 
That was when she told me, "Tara, most of us don't fit in one way or another in most places, but here we seem to work.  This is where we fit in.  I want you to know, Keaton SHINES when he is here."
And now the tears.......I tell her it was not easy for me to pay the $135/each.  But I am so glad I did just to hear those words and to give my son/children this experience.  EVERY ONE DESERVES TO SHINE.  Let me say it again, EVERY ONE DESERVES TO SHINE.  My beautiful baby doesn't only shine, he radiates.  I am so blessed. 
Maybe I have a future actor on my hands.  Maybe an award winning playwright, set designer or sound person.  Maybe he will just be the guy that carries off and on props during the show.  I don't care.  My boy shines.
This is our journey.  This is his journey.  This is one amazing mama payday.  I can't wait to watch him and Belle perform on Friday night.  I will be the mama in the third row center with the biggest smile, proudest heart and deepest gratitude.
As a side note, Belle and her talents are not overlooked at the camp.  My beautiful Belle always stands out.  She is the show stealer, ALWAYS.  I think even she understands this is a time for Keaton to stand out.  In her tender way, she is stepping back for the spotlight to hit her big brother.  I have some amazing children. 

Saturday, June 15, 2013

At My Lowest

At my lowest weight that is....I think back to the fall/winter time and how I struggled and pushed to break through to be under the 250's.  Now, I have been fighting, not always as consistent as I should have, to get under 240 and into the 30's.

I have not been holding myself accountable the last few months.  Life has pulled my attention in other areas.  While I have not let myself get out of control, there have been more free for all days than I care to admit. 

So here it is.....I may not be officially blogging much (however I am active on my FB page) at the current time, however I do want to start posting my Saturday weigh in each week.  I can commit to that for now.

There are so many things I would like to write about, share, ask, explore.  Right now....I need to be out living my life which leads to not a lot of time to write about it.  And.  That.  Is.  Okay. 

I have to be okay with that. 

I can be found on instagram, myfitnesspal, twitter and facebook all under the username, wortheveryounce.

So here we go:

Starting Weight, Feb 2012:
279 lbs

Today's Weight, June 15, 2013:

Total Pounds to Never See Again:

Next Saturday I will be in the 230's.  Yes I will!!!!

Have a great Father's Day weekend everyone.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Incredible Weekend- Just what I needed

It is 10:36 PM as I start this post.  For the last three days I have had a few blog post ideas percolating.  Even tonight, I have so much to share but as we are so busy living our life, I am finding no time to write about it. 
I will say this......this weekend was amazing.  Mostly we stayed home.  We moved our bodies.  We went for walks.  We cheered on our girls at their dance recital.  This was a weekend of family and being good to ourselves.
And in an effort to start the work week out right, I am refusing to stay up late tonight.  Tomorrow I am hoping to get in some photo editing and blog time.  
I will share just a few pics from our 2.75 mile family walk.  Even Miss Olaya walked the entire thing.  Keaton was thrilled as we started back down the trail that he did it.  My family was all together, making memories and moving.  
My cup is full!!!!
Hope you all had a great weekend.  Let's make this a fabulous week.