Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Halloween & Wednesday Weigh In

After coming down from the weekend high (Color Run and smaller sizes), I was hit hard at a family Halloween party on Monday night....well...all of Monday.  Just bad food choices from start to finish...which leads to more bad choices...which leads to wanting to just be normal with leads to guilt and more bad choices.  I think you get the idea. Top it off, not being able to get to the gym due to holiday events and tasks needing my time on Monday makes for a very fuzzy Tara.
Tuesday, I started out clean.  I ate clean all day.  Breakfast.  Lunch. Dinner.  No shame at all.  Choir practice at the university was Tuesday night which meant no gym workout for a third day in a row.
Today did not start out with me in a good place.  Between missing two workouts and major sugar and wheat indulgence on Monday, my weigh in this morning set me off.  I know, I know.  Don't let the scale change you. didn't.  I knew I had done bad.  I knew I ate as a reward and as a punishment on Monday.  I knew because my body was still hurting from the wheat and sugar.
Highest Weight: 279
Last Weight: 248
Current Weight: 253   +5
Bring on Halloween.  I was a time bomb just waiting to happen.  Potluck at work.  Treats for the kids.  Chocolate everywhere and my head in a bad place.
Luvin my co-workers costume
cruise ship buffet lover
Then.......something changed.
Our neighborhood had their Trunk-O-Treat at 4:30 p.m. (way early).  We were done by 5:15 p.m.  I went home and changed into my gym clothes (mostly for comfort because I could not stay in my to-tight-you-have-eaten-your-calorie-limit-for-the-day-and-then-some pants......which, by the way, I wore today so that I would not over eat.  BAD.IDEA.  That just made me feel fat all day since they were tight to begin with.)
We went over to my parents to hang out.  On the way, I happened to call a friend and say let's go to the gym after things settle down. He agreed and was available.
By now I was starting to get the shakes.  Seriously, I needed a fix.  Not more sugar.  I needed a calorie burn like no other and I knew it.  But my head was still not in it.
My little loves to go to the gym day care.  She wanted to join me.  As we headed over to pick up my friend, I called the gym to make sure there was child care on Halloween night.  Good thing I did.  They closed it early.  So now I am discouraged.  Might as well go home and watch Season 3 of Modern Family.  That is what I started telling my self. 
Called my friend.
He says to me, in a supportive way, that I know best about what I need to do.  He said that going home and resting may be good.  BUT then he says, "You know, even if you get in 30 minutes, you are going to feel better.  And Tara, you are worth it."
Picked up my friend.  Drove little back to my parents.  Drove back to the gym.
60 minutes later.....
two episodes of Honey Boo Boo (First for me, scary!!!!!!) as I pushed it on the elliptical......
896 calories later.....
It only took 30 seconds and I knew that machine and I were going to be very good friends. 
I didn't need rest.  I didn't need a new day.  I didn't need to punish myself. 
I needed a calorie burn.  I needed an endorphin hit.  I needed a good choice.


Now I can say, I don't care what that scale says.  I am getting up when I fall and that is all that matters.  I make mistakes.  I fall down.  If you have followed me for any length of time, you know I fall down. Hopefully, you also know, I get up. 
That dark place I go when I make mistakes.....yeah....I don't live there anymore.  Unfortunately, I do make a visit from time to time.  I don't know if that will ever change.  I can tell you, when I see that dark place coming (like today), I know what to do.  And yes, I am worth it.
These four creatures, they are worth it!!!!  

I will get up each time I fall.

Happy Halloween everyone!  I don't know about you, but it was a good day for me.....yes, it was.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Color Run Boise Oct 27

Be prepared for a picture heavy post.
There really are not a whole lot of "firsts" left in my life to look forward to.  First kiss.  Check.  First love.  Check.  First marriage.  Check check.  Fist baby.  Check.  First job.  Check.
I found one.  My first 5K.  Even typing that out brings a smile to my face.  The fact that I am even writing about me running if like a dream.  One year ago, I never would have believed it if someone would have said I would EVER be or try to be a runner....of any distance.
Most people know I am an event person.  In college I was on the Program Board.  The kids first birthdays are small scale neighborhood parties. As I labored at home with my youngest, friends and family came over as spent the day talking and reminiscing about birth.   I love to make events out of everything.  I like memories.  I like pictures.
Therefore, when I was looking for my first 5K, I heard about a Color Run and knew it was going down as my "first".  And was it a first to remember.
Team WorthEveryOunce consisted of my mother, sister, friend, co-worker and her sister.  We also met up with more friends from Pocatello once we got up there.
I knew this 5K was not going to have the pressure of timed races. This event promotes being the happiest 5K on the planet.  This is our color.
Leaving town.
Maria, myself and Barb (mom)

Race eve post workout pic
Had to get in my #fridaynightsweat

Friends- Nico and me
Team WorthEveryOunce

Is this little guy just the cutest little Color Runner?


Friends- Heidi and me
First wave of runners

Happy Birthday Mom!!
By biggest supporter!

Lined up-
Team WorthEveryOunce
 racers already on their way back


Maria and Heidi

Want some orange?


volunteers totally look like smurfs

Post Race

All of us minus two we lost after the race....
so many people


getting ready for color launch at the end

as if we didn't get enough color in the actual race

my face was covered

 There ya have it.  My first 5K.  My first Color Run.  I say first because I will be back again next year for another Color Run and with reinforcements.  This may have been a non competitive race but I think I have been bitten with the bug.  My time was right at an hour.  There were lots of stops when we passed through each color zone.  Bottle necked each time.  We also stopped to distribute more color on each other when we could.  Next year I want to be able to run the entire distance between color zones.

As for being my first 5K, you can guarantee I am going to keep up with this running thing.  I don't really think I can call myself a runner....yet.  My longest stretch at this point is 8 minutes.  Most walkers can pass me when I am running.  I don't care.  I am moving.  I am pushing my body.  I am enjoying every minute of it.....well I can say that after I am done running.  It isn't always a joy while I am doing it.

And the best part comes with what happened after the run. 

We went back to the hotel, showered and decided to do a little shopping before heading back to Pocatello.  All of my pants have been saggy in the back side.  I hate that.  Two weeks ago I was wearing my size 20 pants and anxious to try on my old 18's.  Finally I did and realized they fit.  However, they were already getting saggy in the backside as well.

At the outlet mall I tried on a pair of 18 jeans.  They fit but in that way you know they will be loose after 20 minutes of wearing them.  COULDN'T BE.  Could size 18 jeans be big?

We went to another store.  I had no interest in looking for something to actually buy.  My goal was to collect a few different jean brands and styles in size 18 and size 16. 

Let me pause here.  When I look in the mirror.....I see me.  I don't see change.  I don't see smaller arms.  Smaller legs.  Smaller waist.  I only see me looking back.  The same me I was yesterday.  So you have to understand, putting my body in clothes that are labeled with a smaller number than I am used to SHOCKED me.  I thought I was being punked.  Or maybe it was just that one brand ran larger.  And yes, every pair I tried on fit different.  Yet, everyone was labeled with a 16.  Except the pair with a 14 stamped inside.  I can't say they were comfortable.  But I did get in them and get them zipped up.

The fun continued Sunday.  I have been purchasing clothing on clearance on line for the last few months in smaller sizes hoping to one day fit in them and have purchased them for dollars.  There are some items I tried on when I got them.  I remember how tight they were and how many could not even get over my head.

Time to get them out.

I ended up actually wearing this dress to church.  It is an x-large. 
This weekend has been thrilling in so many ways.  I ran a race I have been preparing for the last two months.  I got to enjoy a friend from middle school that I haven't seen in almost 20 years. I built upon a relationship with friends.  I got to see my co-worker in a new way.  I ran side by side with my sister even though she could have left me in the dust had she wanted to.  Celebrated my mother's 58th birthday with a healthy activity we could share together.  Made memories.  Made goals.  Made progress.
I am looking forward to the next couple months.  Many many things to make happen and enjoy.  Hoping for lots more positive change.

Happy Monday to everyone.  I am home snuggling with a sick little one.  Prayers to all those within reach of hurricane Sandy.  Thoughts are with you.


Monday, October 22, 2012

Preparing for Awesome

This last week I took a mental break from workouts.  Translation....I took a physical break from workouts. I just could not fit one more thing in my schedule that I had to plan.  With all the medical, extra-curricular, church and social activities, I was spent.  I had nothing left.  In fact, Thursday I went home from work with a severe (as if there is any other) migraine coming on.  I slept for 3.5 hours.  Woke up.  Got a pedicure with my bestie for her birthday....which was perfect....had a back massaging chair and someone rubbing my feet for two hours. 
I am sparkly pink.

Then went back to bed.  A migraine means only one thing.  Time to slow down.

I took the week to focus on food.  My kids.   My job.  Me. 

Over the weekend, the kids and I planned our menu for the week. I planned crock-pot meals for the nights we had activities scheduled. We prepped some egg muffins.....

 So very simple!!!  Thanks Alan for posting this on his instagram page.  I ran with it.
Simple simple. 
Spray muffin tin.
I placed a little sprinkle of cheese in bottom-your choice, for these I used pepper jack
filled with spinach leaves, mushrooms
pour whipped egg over
sprinkle w cheese
bake 350 for 30 min

next time I want to use cilantro, green peppers, turkey bacon....and anything else we can think of...not all in the same muffin of course


 We made 18.  Enough to get us through most of the week.  Breakfast today was a breeze.  Two of these gems and a bunch of grapes and the kids were set. 

After all our house cleaning I was starting to get the need for a calorie burn.  Saturday evening I made an evening trip to the gym and scheduled a date with a sleek treadmill in a back corner.  He pushed me hard.  I worked my body.  Cleared my mind.  It was invigorating!!!  I made it to running 5 minute stretches at a time.  I run slow.  I don't care.

 Got home from the gym and grocery store...only bought off my menu for the week...and quickly busted out my two yoga poses that I was behind.
day 20

day 21
 Then to top off the night, I joined some friends at a singles LDS dance.  That is a blog post all its own.  But now tonight.  Luckily I was there with friends.  Had I just shown up, I would have turned and walked right back was that scary.
My friend Tresia...always the matchmaker
 I figured since I had just got home from the gym, I was willing to go dance and get my sweat on some more.  I didn't even shower.  A little make-up, changed clothes, deodorant and some perfume and I was good to go....or good enough.
Sunday is always my favorite day.  Currently church doesn't start until 1 p.m.  Girls and I got to snuggle quite a bit in the morning.
Three shares of brown  :)
As Monday comes to an end, so far so good. I was up at 4:20 this morning to hit the gym early.  I am not in the least bit a typical morning person.  In fact, the only thing that motivated me to get out of bed was the idea that I would be really tired come 9 p.m. and ready to go to bed early....which it is now almost 10 and I am still typing on this post.  (TARA get to bed!!!)

Post 5 a.m. workout.
3 mile run
upper body weight machines
 I took two egg muffins to work for breakfast.  Only half on one made it to my office from the break room microwave.  Co-workers along the way had to try them.  In fact I am now making 30 of them for a birthday breakfast next week for the whole office.

 For lunch I went home to put this creation together.  Crock pot stew.  SO EASY.

Getting off work only meant running to start carpooling kids to Dr appts, dance practice and a stop at Costco for a return.  When we pulled into the driveway at 6:30 we were all ready to eat.  Grateful for planning ahead.  Totally paid off. And lots for leftovers.
Today was a win.  Prepared Tara 1  Crazy Life 0
Can't wait for tomorrow.  But for now........