Sunday, June 3, 2012

Week Wrap Up - Looking Ahead

Saturday plans actually began Friday night when I ran into my MIA workout buddy Avril, at the movie theatre.  Unfortunately for her she was two rows in front of me and she found popcorn in her hair (no idea how that happened).
She text asking what I was doing on Saturday and we decided to go for a nice long walk.  I have truly been missing my friend.  At 8 a.m. we ventured off to the trail I usually hike on Saturday.  With some big race going on we opted to hit Sacajawea Park (runs along the river) and do our walk there.  It is different with the weather warming up.  At a brisk walk I was feeling the perspiration form. 

After the walk, I kidnapped Avril to my bountiful basket pick up.  We were there early, the site was running late getting all the produce divided in the baskets so we got to volunteer.  Our job was to pass out 7 boxes of oranges between 70 baskets.  Fun times. 

Avril (in brown top/black pants) for her next participant

Some of the many baskets waiting for pick up

Yes, that would be me and my best little helper transferring fruit for a participant
 (for all the flattering pics I guess a few not so great one have to be posted)

Once home from that little adventure, it was meet with maintenance guy for my home and then get ready for my regular OA meeting.

The meeting was great.  Four of us were there.  I always come away from my meetings filled with hope.  One of my lifelong friends received her 60 day coin and at 32 lbs lost.  Could not be more proud of her.  She has taken her eating plan and made it a part of her life.  no questions asked.  Previously I had made it to day I am on day 7.  I will get there.

From there I picked up my girls and we headed to the park to celebrate my nephews 9th birthday.  We played water balloon volleyball (I sat out for that with Olaya) and then regular volleyball.  Not being a very athletic person, volleyball is a sport I can play.  It felt good being out there playing.  I prepared for the party by bringing a bowl of berries and grapes.  When the cake and ice cream portion of the party began, I just nibbled on my berries and enjoyed talking and visiting with everyone.  No anxiety.  It was great.

After the party I did some retail therapy (split from someone special is settling in).  Bath and Body is going to be my downfall.  How do you pass up buy three get three free plus a $10 off coupon.  I did it twice.  If that wasn't enough damage, the girls and I splurged on jewelry at Claire's.  Somehow I walked out with a receipt for $94, two bags filled with treasures for us three and a surprised look on my face.  How did I do that?  However, now I have many new choices for the upcoming work trip and the family vacation after that.

The rest of the day was devoted to time with my girls.  We rented a few movies.  Got them Panda Express.  I had chicken/lettuce wraps. Gathered on my bed with the nail polish basket. We watched movies, painted fingers and toes and just relaxed the night away.

Goal check in:

  • Attend minimum of three (shooting for five) early morning workouts at Gold's: I made four gym classes, two body pump, one body combat and one yoga, had to go in the evening due to the boys being at their dad's.....won't leave the girls that early in the morning 
  • Attend body combat once during the week (evening class) : check accomplished 
  • Drink gallon of water a day : No go.  not even close
  • Walk a minimum of 15 miles this week -translation 5, 3 miles walks : ROCKED THIS ONE...not only did I do 15, I did 18
  • Eat all my vegetables in my plan :check accomplished
  • Meditate for 10 minutes every day (this one will be hard) : Check...hard to settle down for 10 minutes but I did it every night
  • Not act out with food or other behaviors when things get hard : accomplished, 100% on food plan, did not act out  in other ways, buried myself in fitness goals instead 
  • To bed before 9:30 every night (in order to make my 4:30 wake up) :didn't happen, but since I wasn't getting up for early workouts it wasn't a priority

New Goals:
Will be traveling the next two weeks, first for work and then for pleasure
Plan, Plan, Plan is my goal.  I already know the food served at the work trip will be completely off my plan.  Three cheers for asking for a menu from the planners so I know what to prepare for.  There is not a Gold's gym in Boise (BUMMER).  Luckily the hotel sits right along the river so I should be able to go walking/running every day.  I may have to do it in the early morning and then again at night.
  • Stay 100% on food plan
  • log minimum of 15 miles, continue running
  • water water water
  • not gain weight while on work trip, not worrying about losing, just no gain

I am struggling emotionally.  As much as I try to distract myself, I am feeling lonely, vulnerable and unsettled.  For the last six weeks I have been able to share my success and challenges with someone special.  When I had a high, I knew I could share it with him.  When I hit a low, I knew he would buoy me up.  I felt needed when I was able to do the same for him.  With both of us in recovery it was bound to happen.  That was real for me.  The friendship.  The trust.  The hope.  Those things were all real.  For a time I have thought, I just can't go through it again.  I don't want to open myself up to yet another person.  I don't want to share my stories.  I don't want to trust another.  I don't want to make someone a part of my life only to have it end.

Then I remember, this journey is not to be made alone.  One day, when I am healthy, strong and confident, there will be someone there to be all that I need. This relationship did show me that there is hope.  Hope for someone that is a match for me.  Accepts me for who I am.  Loves me for who I am and where my goals will take me.  This relationship taught me I don't have to settle.  For these things I am grateful.

I approached the relationship with the same approach I have to recovery.  Take one day at a time.  I thought to myself, do no harm, enjoy the moment and have no regrets.  I did that.  I have no regrets that way.

Maybe, maybe one day, when I am able to accept it, there will be someone just for me.

So I guess this means I am free to date again.

Found here

Happy Sunday everyone!!!  I have lots to do in the way of church, family birthday party and pack for Boise.  My boys are home overnight so they can get packed for the family trip.  I am happy to have them home.  Life is always better when I have all my littles close.

Found this on pinterest, I don't have the link (sorry blog police)

No comments:

Post a Comment