Wednesday, November 30, 2011

What Have I Learned

I was hoping Sharen would post that quote about "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." I know food is such an issue for me. I enjoy the smell of it, the feel of it, the way it brings people together, the sounds of joy people make when they eat my food… much of it is so good. Yet, the thing I have been avoiding is the reaction it has on my body. I think I have been more in the school of "Live to eat instead of eat to live." So the last few days….it has been coming on for a while…I have tried to ask does this taste as good as the goal I want to reach? Not to mention, I don't want to destroy the success I started my day with, day three of the gym.
 Today I almost didn't make it to the gym. Olaya woke a few times last night crying out. Worried she was having nightmares, when my alarm clock went off I text Avril, my workout buddy, that I would not be going to the gym today. Even as I sent the words, I shuttered with the idea that I wasn't going to have my one hour. I wasn't going to have my fall back if the day went bad to say no matter what I gave myself this time. I am learning to remember there are no excuses. Get to the gym.

Today was a fast and furious day at work. Starting the day with three children's dental appointments left me feeling like I was running behind all day. I worked through lunch. I am frustrated with my lack of planning. We got out of the house without breakfast as we rushed to the dentist. By the time we were done, everyone was hungry and we were rushing back to get kids to school, Olaya to daycare and me to work. In comes McDonald's. UGH!! I got the kids a sausage mcmuffin, hash browns, and a sausage burrito. I got me a fruit and yogurt parfait. Sadly after eating my yogurt, I gobbled up the leftover burrito and ¼ of a mcmuffin. What is with me and not being able to throw food away? It happened before I even knew what I had done. Being on the go is hard on me. I feel forced to eat bad things. However, I did try to make up for it the rest of the day. Sadly I worked through lunch but had a hardboiled egg during my afternoon break. Again, tonight was me running carpool for the littles to kid gym, scouts', basketball practice all after picking up Olaya from day care. You have no idea how tempted I was to pick something up. I scanned the restaurants on Yellowstone and was overwhelmed with shame. I can't give my kids crap. We came home, quickly made simple sandwiches with leftover baked ham served with fresh veggies. How easy was that? Why do I think I have to feed my family a five course meal for dinner? Do I feel guilty from being gone from them all day? And can you believe after I finished half of mine I was full. In other news… I won't list my food intake every day. This blog itself is a journey. I hope it is a place to find support and inspiration. I encourage readers to leave comments. Give me tips. Tell me what has worked for you. Give me tips for the gym, menu planning, avoiding triggers. ANYTHING!!! My sister Sharen is a huge inspiration. She has already had great success making me want to reach my goals all the more.

I am feeling good. Realizing I am only three days into this, I can already see measurable progress. I am more alert during the day. I am more positive. My appetite has gone down. People have already responded with encouragement and want to get started with us. This journey is not a one man show. It is all of us. A network of love and support. I am seeing the scale move already. Posting weight will only happen once a week but I can see the numbers moving. YIPEE!!! So off to bed with me. Let the comments begin. Over 100 hits since the last post. Spread the word. Join the site. Share this journey with us.

Love ya,


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