Today is September 1, meaning time to weigh in. Which means, confession time. Full disclosure. In an effort to be transparent I gotta share.
My pattern seems to be hit a new weight loss low and then spend 2-3 weeks going up and down, up and down. Little binges. Not staying on plan. Never getting below that new low number. The swings can be as high as 8 lbs (this last time). So 1) I am not being honest in staying away from the scale except for on the 1 & 15 and 2) I am binging to celebrate my loss...makes sense right?!?!
Two things I am going to work on this next little while for sure.
I want to be honest with myself, those that read this and those that support my efforts. This back and forth stuff has to stop. I know it is part of my food addiction. As I push through to new goals, I will work hard to tackle this behavior. I will turn this defect over and let HIM guide me though it.
This week I have struggled with my chosen path to desired outcome. Don't get me wrong. Fueling my body with what it needs and pushing my body every day, has me feeling emotionally and physically better than ever.
Then there are the moments where I want my results to be more evident on the scale. I want to say I have lost 40 lbs., 50 lbs., 60 lbs. I want my clothes to drown me. I want people to be able to see my efforts in the changes of my body.
That said, I have some friends that have lost over 100 lbs each (and counting) with gastric bypass surgery. One of my previous co-workers has lost 41 lbs with HCG shots in 5 weeks. I see people losing weight through detox's, green drinks, Body by V shakes and so forth. I CELEBRATE all their efforts. I do. I see them working to their goals, no matter what the path, and I cheer them on. Envious even. I celebrate it so much that I start to think, maybe I need a little kick start. Maybe I could do the shots from today until I leave for Baltimore and be down 20 lbs in 20 days.
For a moment the push for a quick fix pulls me in.
Then I remember what I am doing this for. It is no longer JUST about weight loss. Certainly it is a part. I won't deny that. However, it is about my emotional well being. It is entirely about being an example to my children. It is about no more plantar fasciitis. It is about pushing my body, giving it what it has asked for. It is about growing a healthy relationship with food. It is about dealing with depression a natural way. And so much more!!!
Overall, I want to lose it how I will live it. I want my plan to be sustainable and duplicate-able. If I can't have my kids do it, I won't be doing it. This is a lifestyle. I am changing 37 years of bad habits, emotional eating and complete inactivity. More than anything, I do not want my children to struggle they way I have struggled.
So, here I am. FLAWED. Full of mistakes. So much to learn. But, I will not give in. I will stay the course. It may take me years to achieve my weight loss goals. And that is OK because this is not just about weight loss. I can run further. Lift more. Stretch deeper. Think clearer. Not to mention the time the children and I are spending together and the beautiful memories we are making. Those achievements can not be found in a quick fix.
My new motto, please remind me of it when I sway.........
After the run, I zipped home, grabbed my 12 year old son and we hit the gym for box aerobics. LOVE IT!!! Ross is great to get us working and sweating hard. Even better to share that with my son.
By 10:30 A.M. I had got in a run, spent an hour at the gym with my boy and hit two endorphin highs. Not to shabby!!
Now to begin Saturday chores, shopping and fun.
Oh, the weigh in. I am down .8 lbs over my last official weigh in.
Down 30.8 lbs total.
STAY THE COURSE!!!
LOSE IT HOW YOU"LL LIVE IT!!!