Wednesday, July 18, 2012


It is not a secret that I have been hovering at the same weight for the last 2 1/2 months.  April I lost big time.  May was nothing.  June was vacation gain.  Lost that right away and then stagnant.

Until now. 

Today (since I have moved to only weighing on the 1 and 15, however the 15 I was smack in the middle of my cycle -sorry boys, but it is a huge factor for the women folk- so I postponed it) I weighed in at ......

253 lbs.  That is three pounds under my lowest and a total of 26 lbs down.

I am thrilled.  Yet, it did not come without pain.

The last few days I have been 100% on my abstinence from wheat and refined sugar.  Which means at night there has been no sneaking of ANYTHING!!! 

Last night I wanted to eat.  That feeling of loneliness was starting to creep in as it sometimes does.  Have you ever stood in the middle of your kitchen, paralyzed.  Afraid to move that you might lunge for the nearest loaf of bread or rip into a chocolate frosting container just to have something to numb the pain.

My move was quickly to the bedroom.  It was already late. Even grapes, at that hour, were not "needed" to fuel my body just to go to sleep.

Instead I climbed in bed and basically cried myself to sleep.  My heart hurt and I had nothing to sooth it.....which is OK.  Part of recovery is learning to live in the emotions I have and not numb them with food.  I ached for someone to touch me, hold me, pull me into them and tell me everything is going to be OK. 

I didn't turn to food.  I didn't turn to a man.  I lived it out until my body gave out and let me drift off to sleep.

This morning I had already planned to weigh.  The scale was a bittersweet blessing to the night before.  It showed me that I can live through emotions and not cover my pain with food.  Not only can I survive those emotions, I can lose the extra lbs that shield me from the world. 

Recovery (from food addiction) is not easy.  It does take work. Which brings me to my workouts........

Check out the pics from today's workout...........

Miss Belle doing Muay Thai for girl is in yellow

Miss Olaya doing the final stretching with her momma

Post one hour of strength and conditioning followed by
an hour of Muay Thai cardio
The more I do the more I want...addictive personality.....yet it does feel amazing to move and push my body.  The teenage boys in the class had all taken breaks when I was still out there going strong.  It is hard.  I have never in my life done martial arts.  We do so much jumping.  My philosophy has always been everyone is much safer with both my feet on the ground.  Not any more.  It seems jumping rope and I are becoming fast friends.  Who said that?????  Hurts so good!!!

Hope everyone is pushing hard to acheive their goals!!


  1. This brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing your weight loss journey with us. Very inspiring.

  2. Aww Tara you are loved.. Am sorry that's the part of being single that our heavenly father and me talked about all the time. Am sure I flood him with so many tears. You are strong and I love the fact you and your family all work out together. It's beautiful thing for sure..