Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Work Out Anyway

When I got to the gym this evening, there was no Zumba instructor. BUMMER!  After visiting with my friend for a bit, I decided to leave and "maybe" head over to my other gym and do some cardio on the elliptical. By that I mean probably would have drove home, made dinner and not left the house again.

Instead, Kort, my trainer, said he would work me out if I wanted.  I happened to mention to him that I was not sore the day after my last workout with him.  Confident he took my statement as a challenge.

I hear people mention their trainer worked them so hard that they cried.  I have cried during workouts.  However, that was from my body moving and working through things.  NOT WHAT THEY MEANT!!!  Tonight, there was a point where I thought I could not do what he was asking of me.  I truly felt I was not capable.  The pleaser in me started to feel uncomfortable. My desire was to do what he asked. Yet, I did not think I was physically capable.  I wanted to say to him he was crazy for asking this 36 year old (37 in two days), single mother of four, just worked 9 hours, I am here to do what you ask lady. Yet, I tried to think just one more rep.  TARA YOU CAN DO ONE MORE REP.  He pushed me.  I responded.  WORKED OUT HARD.  When it was over, I felt FABULOUS.

That is courage my friends.  Being afraid.  Real fear.  And doing it anyway.  THANK YOU KORT!!

Worked so hard, even my mascara ran.

Post workout, meet Kort
Notice I did not crop my belly out....thought about it  :)

My trainer. Since starting his workouts,
I have noticed my body changing

Happy Girl Headed Home
 In addition to working out HARD today, I reached out to a friend in OA.  She brought me to my first  OA meeting and it was time to touch base.  I have been all over trying to "control" my food addiction.  Yeah, well that doesn't work so well. 

Today I surrendered.  I gave up.  I gave it all to my Higher Power.  I am back to following my plan.  No wheat/No Sugar.  When I follow my plan for abstinence, I am able to get out of the crazy.  I planned my meals and followed my plan. I connected with two others in recovery and I participated in a phone OA meeting (the only in person meeting here is on Saturday). 

One thing I am certain.  I can not do this......I can not do this on my own.

One Day At A Time!!!!

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