Instead, Kort, my trainer, said he would work me out if I wanted. I happened to mention to him that I was not sore the day after my last workout with him. Confident he took my statement as a challenge.
I hear people mention their trainer worked them so hard that they cried. I have cried during workouts. However, that was from my body moving and working through things. NOT WHAT THEY MEANT!!! Tonight, there was a point where I thought I could not do what he was asking of me. I truly felt I was not capable. The pleaser in me started to feel uncomfortable. My desire was to do what he asked. Yet, I did not think I was physically capable. I wanted to say to him he was crazy for asking this 36 year old (37 in two days), single mother of four, just worked 9 hours, I am here to do what you ask lady. Yet, I tried to think just one more rep. TARA YOU CAN DO ONE MORE REP. He pushed me. I responded. WORKED OUT HARD. When it was over, I felt FABULOUS.
That is courage my friends. Being afraid. Real fear. And doing it anyway. THANK YOU KORT!!
|Worked so hard, even my mascara ran.|
|Post workout, meet Kort|
Notice I did not crop my belly out....thought about it :)
|My trainer. Since starting his workouts, |
I have noticed my body changing
|Happy Girl Headed Home|
Today I surrendered. I gave up. I gave it all to my Higher Power. I am back to following my plan. No wheat/No Sugar. When I follow my plan for abstinence, I am able to get out of the crazy. I planned my meals and followed my plan. I connected with two others in recovery and I participated in a phone OA meeting (the only in person meeting here is on Saturday).
One thing I am certain. I can not do this......I can not do this on my own.
One Day At A Time!!!!