Making Progress

You would be pretty hard pressed to find me in public without make-up.  In fact, I take my paints with me when I go camping.  I keep it on when I swim.  I don't even take my make-up off to go to bed.  I should, but I don't.  Seriously, do I think perfect make-up will stop a burglar or something? 

A while back someone challenged me to go without make-up for a day.....in public.  Couldn't do it.  Then he asked me to at least go without it when I was with him to see how I did.  I could not do it. 

The theories behind my need to wear make-up are extensive.  It is my mask.  I feel more put together.  It helps me feel like I have taken care of myself.  It is a shield.  I only use it to accentuate the natural beauty (even typing that make me cringe).  I could go on.

Truthfully, it is something to hide behind.  If someone says I have nice eyes, I can pass it off that it is the way I apply my eyeshadow or line my eyes that they are truly commenting on.  Always afraid someone actually sees me.  But that is a conversation (or many) for me and my therapist.

In an attempt to appreciate my body and love who I am with no shield, no excuses, Saturday I went without make-up on purpose.  Not a stitch I tell you.  And here is the proof........

driving to Salt Lake to pick up my girls-
not to bad

 Not only did I go without make-up, I went to my OA meeting, hit the corner gas station before heading out of town and went inside to get water, saw my ex-husband and his wife (met her for the first time- the woman he cheated on me with- didn't even feel I had to be all covered in make-up to impress her and him) and I took a picture.  I didn't hide from the camera.

To keep the growth and acceptance coming, today, I had my son take a more full body shot, which I never do.  Time to be real about who I am.  As I strengthen my mind and body, as confidence grows, I can't hide from who I am any longer.  So this is me......

after church

close up, unedited even

In another attempt to accept my body the way it is, I have decided to only weigh twice a month.  My friend Stephanie has been successful with weighing on the 1st and the 15th, so I decided to give it a try.  I can't let that silly number determine how I feel about myself that day.

As this week begins, three cheers for making progress to loving the body I have been given.  I think I actually got a pretty good one!!!!

What do you do to show greater acceptance for the body you have been given?