I am thankful that I learned that abstinence–not adherence to a particular way of eating–is the goal.
The last few weeks I have been attending a twelve step program on Saturday. The idea of going has always been nothing more than a little joke in the back of my thoughts. Hearing bits and pieces of the program, I had thought maybe it was a place/people I could identify with.
Through a blessed angel, there was an opportunity to attend a meeting two Saturday's ago. Off and on through the meeting I felt tears swell in my eyes and fall to my cheeks (that may not surprise anyone that knows me). Most often, in any social, religious or family setting, I feel somehow out of place. I can say for certain, from the moment I walked in the room, the group members felt like home to me. Thinking it was because I went to the meeting with two trusted lifelong friends, a the second meeting I felt the same way.
I want to write more, but I see the time is late. This momma is on a strict sleep schedule to allow for early morning workouts. I will leave with this.....
I made it through one day of abstinence. I made it through one day of not giving in to my compulsion to eat through every single emotion I encounter in a day.
"The concept of abstinence is the basis of OA’s program of recovery. By admitting inability to control compulsive eating in the past and abandoning the idea that all one needs is “a little willpower,” it becomes possible to abstain from overeating—one day at a time."
It took me a week to decide what abstinence was going to mean for me. For each person it is different. Today I abstained from wheat and sugar. The tray of double chocolate brownies I made for my children was calling for me as I tried to prepare dinner. However, I said a prayer, knew I could call one of my group members and was able to count my many blessings until my dinner was ready. Then I turned to my children and later the computer for positive thoughts.
Tonight I will close my eyes knowing I succeeded. I made it through one day of abstinence. If I can make it through one, I can make it through another.