Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Weigh In Wednesday

Anxious for my results, I flew out of bed the moment my alarm clock went off this morning. Considering my lack of sleep the last few days, this surprises even me.  I won't hide it.  I am thrilled with the results of my efforts.  So without stalling......
Since starting abstinence 24 days ago,

Starting weight: April 1: 274
Today's weight: April 25:  258.......16 lbs in 24 days

Since my highest in February......279.......down 21 lbs total.
Now for the rest of the story.
These past few weeks have felt like a many ways.  However, it has not come without a price.  Has it been hard......oh hell (sorry) yes.  Have I wanted to give up?  Yes, Yes.  Have I longed for things I could not have?  Yes, Yes, Yes.  Have those moments passed?  Yes.  Have I had to run from break room treats, be late to family gatherings, arriving only after the food rush has settled, physically stop myself from eating sugar snacks at trainings and have I gone to bed sad, aching for my friend?
On the other hand, finding new ways to love those around me is an adventure.  Taking long walks gives the kids and I opportunities to laugh, talk and play.  Sharing time with people without food allows for more talking.  My health is improved.  We are moving more, loving more and listening more.  With my thoughts not constantly tied up in food, with time not taken up figuring ways I can hide what I am eating and an inner desire to allow myself this success, I am watching a dream unfold.
My professional life is good.  My home life is good.  My spiritual life is good.  My physical body is good.  My personal relationship is good. 
Milk still spills.  Kids still talk back.  Diapers still need changed. Garbage still needs taken out.  Socks still need sorted.  Bills still need paid.  Dog still has accidents in my home.  Kids still make mistakes. Bathroom sink still does not work.  Glass in window needs replaced.  Bunk bed needs worked on. Garage needs cleaned out.  Weeds need pulled.  Flowers need planted. I still go to bed hoping that one day I won't be alone.  I still have moments of fear.  I still have moments I feel lost, unlovable, inadequate.
But for today.....I choose to focus on the good. To be present in the moment. To take the good with the bad.  To celebrate my success and be gentle with my shortcomings.  To recognize my Heavenly Father in all things.  To be honest with myself first.  To love me, flaws and all.  To continue taking it one day at a time.  To continue fueling my body with what it needs.  To continue to develop relationships with those that want only for my success.
Happy Wednesday!!!!!
Thanks for the private emails and text messages.  Support is very helpful.  I encourage you to leave a message here for others that may learn and grow from your words and especially for me.  To read your thoughts is fueling!!!!
P.S.  Off to ZUMBA with my new workout friend.  Wish me luck.  Not one of my finest moments.
Day 24 of abstinence from trigger foods -no wheat, no sugar

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